Bibahos - Yet Another Beautiful Indian Tradition
Bengals close proximity to hospitality, dance and music is well reflected in their wedding rituals.
Age old practices form the foundation of Indian society and wedding being the most important event in one's Nlifetime is solemnized with utmost sanctity. We take a closer look at the tying of the nuptials in traditional Bengali style. Like any other Indian tradition, Bengalis too follow a series of elaborate and colorful rituals of great significance
Pre-Wedding Rituals
Ashirbaad
Similar to an engagement ceremony, it takes place a couple of days before the wedding day. The groom's family visits the bride at her house, blesses her by showering husked rice and trefoil and gifts her with costly presents. Elders of the bride's family do the same at the groom's house also. The ceremony usually takes place in the presence of a priest. It symbolizes an acceptance of the boy and girl on both sides.
Aai Budo Bhaat
This is a grand feast held at both houses separately on the wedding eve with typical Bengali dishes. It's just an older version of today's bachelors party but thrown by relatives or friends and is made fun with songs and dances.
Vriddhi
Vriddhi ceremony is a pooja conducted at both houses separately to honor all the ancestors. It is usually performed by a paternal uncle and a priest sitting in front of the idol of Bhagwan Narayan, in a room decorated with alpona (Bengali rangoli).
Gaye Holud
Also known as turmeric ceremony, gaye holud takes place on pre-wedding day, first at the groom's house. For the bride's gaye holud, the groom's family except the groom go in a procession to the bride's home carrying a wedding outfit, turmeric paste, henna and gifts. They are welcomed with the blowing of conch shells. The bride will be anointed with the same turmeric paste by five or seven married women from her side. There will be a feast for the guest as mehendi takes place and sends them back with gifts and sweets.
Dodhi Mongol
On the day of the wedding early in the morning, seven married ladies will adorn the bride with traditional bangles shakha and paula (red and white) and feed her a meal of curd and rice.
Wedding Day
On the wedding day, the groom's family members as well as his friends sets out for a procession called Bor Jatri to the bride's house and they will be welcomed by the ladies of the house with a holy earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil, and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow (kula). Traditional Bengali weddings took place at bride's house, but now a days, the two parties' together move to the venue near the bride's house. The groom seated on a low wooden stool called pidi at the chadnatolla (wedding altar) will be offered new clothes. Her brothers lift her and takes around the groom seven times. This ritual called saat paak signifies that they are tied securely together for seven births. The garland exchange (mala badal) happens soon after this and it will be repeated three times. The bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of the invitees (subho drishti). This signifies the official acceptance of their marriage by the society. An elderly male member of her family hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by the sacred thread amidst recital of Vedic chants. Their hands will be then placed on mangal ghot - a brass pitcher filled with water and covered with mango leaves attached to a twig and a green coconut placed on it. This part of the ceremony is called Sampradan. The couple there after sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest with a belief that Agni, the fire god is the divine witness to their marriage (yagna). The couple takes seven rounds around the fire solemnizing the occasion (saat paak). The bride's brother hands puffed rice to the bride. The bride and the groom together pour it into fire (anjali). The groom then applies sindoor on the bride's hair-parting as she covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom.
Post Wedding Rituals
Bidaay
This is the farewell – a mixed moment of joy and sorrow as the bride takes blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life.
Kaal Ratri
After the couple reaches the groom's house and the initial welcome ceremony (Bou Baran) is over they are separated for the night, to get a refreshing sleep and prepare for the next day's ceremonies.
Bou Bhaat & Bodhu Boron
A banquet is held to treat the guests who lavish gifts on the new bride and the bride prepares the food. The groom offers her a plate of food, along with a new sari as an affirmation that he is responsible for all her basic needs- food, shelter and clothing.
Phool Shojja
The couple will be left alone together in their room decorated with flowers. The flowers, clothes and sweets for the occasion are gifts from the bride's house.
Diya Gaman
As the newlyweds visit the bride's house for the first time after the wedding, the thread which was tied by the priest on the bride's wrist during the wedding rituals will be cut with a ceremony. Conch shells are blown along with ululation to mark the moment.
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